Lying to the Dentist

I went to the dentist last week to take care of a filling that somehow fell out. How does a filling fall out?

Anyway, after sitting in the chair and hearing the most God awful noises whirring noises coming from my mouth, it was fixed. And it only cost me $480! Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. $480?!

But it was done so what could I do about it? I couldn’t rip the filling out and say, “No thanks, I changed my mind.”

As I was leaving the dentist told me to be careful and not eat anything for a couple of hours.

Around 4 I got really hungry so I opened the fridge and took out a left over salad from the night before. I started devouring it when I suddenly heard a big crunch inside of my mouth. My tongue fished around and I spit out something white. Damn - my filling fell out!

I called the dentist and he said I could come in immediately. I’m far too lazy to do two things in the same day so I just said I would come the next day.

That morning, as I sat in the chair I got a sudden feeling of, “I shouldn’t be here.” The Dr. opened my mouth and said everything looked fine. I told him that it didn’t feel like anything was wrong but I just wanted to make sure. I then brought out the evidence. He looked at it with his little microscope and said: “It looks like a crab shell.”

Cut to: Two nights before, my girlfriend and I went out to dinner. She got Alaskan King Crab legs but didn’t finish them so we got a doggy bag. The next night, she made a salad but since my tooth was hurting we didnt eat much of it. So, when I ate what was left of the salad that fateful day, then had been a little piece of crab shell left at the bottom of the bowl.

Back to the dentist office: I had a decision to make. I could fess up and tell the truth about the leftover crab…or I could lie.

I lied.

I told them I had made a salad from scratch and it must have been in the bag somewhere and plus, I didn’t even like crab (which was another lie cause I love it.) They thought that was just the strangest thing…how could a crab shell get into a salad bag? I thought it was equally strange since I had just made it up right there on the spot and knew I could have come up with a much better excuse.