If it's free, it's for me

Why do I love free stuff?

My old neighbor gave me a portable car vacuum a while back. Didn’t need it. Didn’t want it. But as soon as he said I could have it, my mouth started to salivate and I had never wanted anything more in my life.

To this day, I’ve never used it. It’s been in my trunk from the minute I got it. Every time I turn a corner, I can hear it rattle around in there.

I only thought of this because today I was at one of the zillion Starbucks near me doing some work (yes, I’m one of those people) when I saw a bunch of people dressed in bright red and yellow shirts. Apparently, they were on some team building exercise for their work. It was like something you’d see on The Office.

Anyway, I had already finished my coffee and was about to leave when one of the Dunder Mifflin crew grabbed me in a panic and asked if I wanted a free coffee. At least thats what I think he said cause he had a heavy asian accent. But I could definitely hear the word, “FREE.” I ordered a grande non-fat latte while he was stood there waiting with me. When it was finished, he took my arm and dragged me outside. Suddenly, there was a whirlwind of activity all around me. I distinctly heard someone yell, “He got one!” Two seconds later, I was in the middle of a group of yellows shirt as a woman with a camera told us all to smile.

The flash went off and everyone ran across the street and down the block. If I didn’t see the barista make the drink myself, I would have sworn someone had pee’d in it.

All this cause someone asked if I wanted a free drink.

I didn’t need it. I didn’t want it. But I had to have it.

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